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Someone Actually Arrive Me is a new cavalcade in which Kara Brown accepts the allurement to aloof about any accessible bar accident she is arrive to. She mostly wants to see if bodies will accumulate agreeable her to adorned parties.

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Music was this week’s theme, as I was arrive to both an accident at The Viper Allowance and pre-party for the American Music Awards. (Technically, Jezebel EIC Emma Carmichael was arrive to the AMA party, but transferrable invites are a admirable thing.)

Event: Viper Allowance Relaunch Party

The aboriginal and, really, alone affair that ancestor into my arch back I apprehend the words “Viper Room” are, Isn’t that the abode breadth River Phoenix died? It is. It is additionally a music breadth of the bedrock persuasion.

Location: The Viper Room

Valet: Chargeless valet! Classy move, Viper Room. I did not drive because in the age of Uber, active in Hollywood is allegedly the atomic all-important affair you can do in the absolute Los Angeles area. However, my acquaintance did drive, and he was happy.

Food: No food. Bedrock and roll.

Drinks: I was rather afraid with how accessible it was to get drinks at this accessible bar, which I accept is mostly a acceptable thing. This aloof addled me as the array of army who would absolutely booty advantage of chargeless booze. There was some array of appropriate cocktail that I did not accept but would allegedly adjustment at a bar if accustomed the opportunity.

HOWEVER, I did adjustment a Stella and about center through bubbler it, I accomplished that whatever I was bubbler allegedly absolutely wasn’t a Stella. Considering how continued it to me amount it out, I’m not abiding who to accusation for that one.

Crowd: There was one abundantly alpine man in appearance which is not decidedly notable, but I’m activity to agenda it.

I anticipate it goes after adage that there was a lot of covering at this event. Los Angeles aesthetics are an absorbing thing. We kept seeing bodies who we briefly anticipation were assertive celebrities, alone to apprehend that they weren’t. I accept to accept that best of these bodies were acquisitive for this exact reaction. Like dude, you apperceive you attending like Liam Hemsworth in the appropriate lighting which is why you accept the exact aforementioned crew as him. We get it!

My best accretion of these bodies is that anybody either array of looked like they were, would be accompany with, or would date Jax Taylor from Vanderpump Rules.

Celebrities: The tip breadth promised absolutely the assembly of celebrities. In fact, the tip breadth included so abounding celebrities that, accompanying with my years of alive in PR, I had abundant faculty to agnosticism that best of them would appearance up. I had agnosticism because celebrities are cool and commonly don’t appearance up to things they aren’t contractually answerable to attend. We did a few sweeps about the VIP breadth and didn’t admit anyone. I began to admiration if there was addition ultra VIP breadth of the Viper Allowance that I couldn’t find.

As it turns out, in the column release, I abstruse that Shane West (who is allegedly still branding himself as his appearance from A Walk to Remember), Vanessa Hudgens….

…this adult who I apperceive is Cheryl Burke although I don’t apperceive why I apperceive that, Alessandra Ambrosio….

…this guy from Glee (I think), and this guy who I can’t abode but who I apperceive I’ve apparent in something…

…all abounding the party. Acceptable for them and acceptable for the Viper Room.

Gift bag: Lol can you imagine?

Overheard: “I’d see them aboriginal in the day at Coachella.”

This was said about Stokeswood, the bandage that was performing. This is a actual specific and, honestly, a appealing solid compliment.

Event: The Coca Cola American Music Awards Pre-Party

Did you apperceive that the American Music Awards were created by Dick Clark? I did not. And I alone apperceive this now because my acquaintance Lindsey and I spent abundant of the night apprehensive what alignment was amenable for giving out these awards and in autograph this post, I assuredly remembered to Google it.

Location: The Conga Room

The Conga Allowance is some array of bistro or accident amplitude at LA Live, which is a Disneyland-esque breadth in city Los Angeles. It’s technically an ball circuitous and is breadth about every LA awards appearance that’s not the Oscars takes place.

I hadn’t heard of the Conga Allowance afore but honestly, I would go to about annihilation at a abode alleged the Conga Room. I would not, however, appetite to be subjected to the red lighting that Coke installed which you will see in best of my pictures. You absolutely can’t anytime say that Coca Cola isn’t on brand.

Valet: No, and candidly that would be absurd at this location.

Food: We were advised to hors d’oeuvres as able-bodied as a baby cafe with mini banh mi sandwiches, tacos, blah on the cob and hot dogs.

Right off the bat, Lindsey 86’d the blah on the cob for acceptable reasons. Back I’m arrive to a moderately adorned cocktail affair I’m not abiding that I’m necessarily in the affection to eat an astronomic bacon-wrapped alarm and blah on the cob. To be clear, I did eat the alarm because hotdogs are delicious, but it was abundantly awkward and I acquainted like the accomplished allowance was watching me.

Giant hot dogs and blah on the cob: abundant for a barbecue, but maybe don’t at your cocktail party.

Other notable dishes accommodate a mini broiled cheese and attempt of amazon soup that, from a distance, absolutely looked like some array of busy attempt of alcohol.

And these red clover “Twinkies” that I’m appealing abiding were aloof red clover block in the appearance of a Twinkie—not that I’m complaining.


Drinks: They had some abundantly affable bartenders up in that joint. That’s consistently fun. Plus, the absence of a tip jar appropriate to me that they were already actuality paid appealing well. That Coke money is real.

The one misstep was a Bacardi Coke float that was as advancing as it sounds.

Crowd: I accept to accept that bisected the bodies there assignment for Coke and boy, were they accepting a abundant time. At one point, Lindsey angry to me and said, “Everyone actuality is accepting fun. It’s uplifting.”

Guys, alike the baby waiters were accepting down. I’m serious. One man who I anticipate was a administrator was accomplishing spins and there was a homegirl who was pop and locking with a tray of aliment in her hand.

There was additionally an aged magician. It was cryptic if he was assassin for the accident or aloof an aberrant guest.

I counted 12 adolescence in appearance as able-bodied as a developed man cutting a anorak but no shirt.

Celebrities: The affair was hosted by Bow Wow and, well, he was there.

At one point, he said,“If you’re adulatory a birthday, blessed altogether to you.” So, that was friendly.

A admirer by the name of DJ Cassidy “spun” at the event. DJ Cassidy, as I abstruse that night, is a absolutely altered being from the rapper Cassidy.

I additionally abstruse that DJ Cassidy is big fan of babble “Party bodies in the abode to be, you’re agitation with Cassidy,” over and over and over and over.

I spotted Jenni Pulos of Flipping Out acclaim because my god I watch a lot of television. She seemed like a appealing accidental attendee until I saw that she was accomplishing sponsored interviews on the AMA red carpet.

And again there was Frankie Grande. We accept allocution about Frankie Grande.

From the bend of my eye I spotted a curious-looking little man. He was in a cottony clothing with a aigrette that I’m abiding all the animals in the boscage would be appetent of. He was sending a Snapchat or authoritative a video or a .gif of his argent shoes while he did article awe-inspiring with his feet, which I’m academic was dancing. “Who could this being be?” I thought. Again it clicked and I cringed as I remembered Ariana Grande’s earlier half-brother from a accomplished copy of Shade Court. Allegedly he’s additionally a Broadway performer, so that’s nice for him.

We watched him for a solid three to bristles account because truly, it was adamantine to stop. He was bopping about and demography selfies with a baby accumulation of bodies who looked like well-dressed adolescence but maybe were not teens.

Watching Frankie Grande fatigued me the hell out. And it wasn’t aloof the balmy accent of secondhand embarrassment; this was article deep. I acquainted the accent of ten thousand lives all at once—ten thousand adamantine lives. It was like experiencing the lifetime acme of accent of abounding atramentous miners artlessly from watching Frankie Grande breathe and alive his life. I will not anon balloon it.

Gift bag: There as not a allowance bag per se, but possibly article better. OPI was allotment a manicure section. It seemed actual accidental to get your nails done and again delay for them to dry at a party, but whatever!

I corrective my nails that afternoon but I had them put red beam over my atramentous brightness because I aloof capital to participate. Lindsey had her nails corrective “Coca Cola Red” because that aggregation is an assured branding machine.

We were additionally accustomed two chargeless OPI attach polishes and an emory lath apparent “1X Use,” although I anticipate that was for aseptic purposes.

There was a “custom” bodice and hat base as well. I capital to accomplish a bodice that said, “Emma Rocks!” but you had to accept from two Coke templates, proving that their use of the chat “custom” was rather dubious.

Overheard: “Damn, Coca Cola has abundant aftertaste in new artists.”

You array of accept to apprehend this adduce with a bit added irony than earnestness. Aside from the booze, the highlight of the black was calmly a achievement by an artisan called Gabi Wilson. I don’t anticipate I was assured abundant from this appearance but this adolescent adult was a affable surprise. She articulate accomplished and she plays the guitar. She did a abundant awning of “Four Bristles Seconds,” which gave you a glimpse of Rihanna with stronger vocals.

I achievement she makes abundant music and becomes acclaimed and I capital to accord her a shout-out so actuality is her shout-out.

Contact the columnist at [email protected] .

Viper Allowance Images via Vivien Killilea/Getty. Lede angel and Coca Cola AMA Pre-Party images via Todd Williamson/Getty.

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